Working Mum Guilt

Going back to work after maternity leave hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be, after the first couple of days when Thomas had settled in at nursery and I had settled back in to work we kinda fell in to a routine which we both like. Thomas absolutely loves nursery it couldn't be better each morning he literally struggles to get out of his car seat as quick as he can because he knows where we are. As soon as we get in to his room he's trying to get out of my arms before I've even finished taking his coat off and he walks straight to the toys or if he's hungry that morning he makes his way over to the table and sits himself on a chair. I go to work knowing Thomas is happy, I know he's being well looked after and knowing he is having lots of fun playing with his little friends.

I've never once felt guilty about going back to work, I've never missed out on anything in Thomas's development he was sitting up, crawling and pulling himself up before I went back to work I didn't miss his first steps his daddy and I were there to witness them, we heard his first word. If anything I feel like I am witnessing a lot more since Thomas has been at nursery because he is doing a lot more with the things he is learning at nursery. I'm stunned almost daily when he comes home and I notice him doing something new.

I also feel that for me the work/home balance is good at the moment, I only work 3 days a week and I'm with Thomas the rest, I always said that I don't want to be seeing the people at work more than I see my son. I get to have a couple of days with adult conversation and a little break from dirty nappies and I each night I go home with an excited feeling in my stomach because I am going to see my baby again. It also means Thomas gets a break from mummy he gets to spend time with different people and he learns how to socialise and make friends, and every night I am greeted with a big smile and open arms when he spies me through the nursery window.

The occasional morning when Thomas is poorly I feel like the worst mum in the world when I have to take him to nursery because I have to go work. I hate having to get him dressed when he doesn't want to when all he wants to do is lay on the settee. All I want to do is spend the day with him on my knee or cuddled up in bed with him so that I can make him feel better with mummy cuddles.

This is the time when I feel guilty about going to work and having to take Thomas to nursery. I'm his mum I should be at home looking after him when he's poorly, I should be the one who is cheering him up and making him feel better but I can't because I have to go to work. I wish I had the type of job where I could work from home on days like this but I don't. Obviously if Thomas was really poorly I wouldn't go to work but on the days he's just a little offside I still feel terrible for leaving him. I guess the only answer to this is to make sure that we make the most of our night together and I give Thomas extra big cuddles to make sure he is feeling better.


  1. Great post, so good to hear a positive story about returning to work, people can be very negative and quick to judge when you mention the "childcare" word :-) x

  2. I used to work 3 days a week after the birth of my first son and it was the perfect balance, like you say you still get to spend the majority of the time with your child.

    Sadly i was made redundant so don't have a job to go back to this time (youngest is 6 months old. I think i'm going to really struggle to find part time work and i really don't want to do full time.

  3. I do three days too.. I think its the perfect balance!

  4. It is really lovely to read a positive going back to work story. I have a lot of anxiety about this subject, and often it gets worse when reading over peoples fears or problems with it, so it was totally refreshing to read this. :)

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